


one for sorrow, two for joy

by dorkslayer



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, General Hisoka warning, M/M, Minor Violence, Omegaverse, Slow Burn, Suggestive Themes, its there but not enough to call for a big warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-20 13:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13718451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkslayer/pseuds/dorkslayer
Summary: One for sorrow, two for joyThree for a girl and four for a boyFive for silver and six for goldSeven for a secret, never to be told---Hisoka has never cursed the fact that he was born an omega.Lots of people would, and for good reason. Omegas are weak, vulnerable, and subversive. They can't fight and can barely speak up in the presence of a strong Alpha. Omegas are only worth as many alphas as they can birth.But Hisoka still doesn't mind.





	1. one for sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Me: hey let's write a quick lil thing about omega Hisoka
> 
> Me, several thousand words later: oh no

Hisoka has never cursed the fact that he was born an omega.

Lots of people would, and for good reason. Omegas are weak, vulnerable, and subversive. They can't fight and can barely speak up in the presence of a strong Alpha. Omegas are only worth as many alphas as they can birth. At least, that's what he remembers omegas being like when he was growing up. They're scarce in the slums, but the ones that still live there are shadowy things, attached at the hip to whatever alpha mated them first. They truly do fill the weak omega stereotype.

But Hisoka still doesn't mind. When your opponent believes that they're fundamentally better than you, they'll underestimate you one hundred percent of the time. It's the reason he's still alive when he gets recruited for the circus and leaves quivering omegas and cocksure alphas behind in the slums.

Besides, being an alpha would just be terrible. Do you know how many alphas Hisoka has led to their deaths just because they thought he smelled nice? Too many to count. Alphas are idiots, so Hisoka decides early on that he'll never get shackled to one as long as he lives. Using his sex appeal is easy and it doesn't bother him, he just has to be careful not to let them get too close. Alphas are worthy opponents but they're certainly not worthy of him.

When he crawls his way up from the slums he finally gets his hands on suppressants. There's nothing like them in the dark alleys that Hisoka so often frequents, only drugs that taste like candy that make the world go fuzzy around you, something to make it all a little more bearable. These are nothing like that.

No longer does he spend heats curled up in a quivering ball behind more locked doors than he can count or hidden as far away from the city as he can get. There's no more worrying about an alpha coming upon him at his most vulnerable. Hisoka has suppressants now and scent blockers and a job preforming and he has, for the first time ever, goals. 

He's going to teach people not to underestimate him. Not to underestimate any omega.

He's going to fight the strongest Alphas and come out on top even if it kills him. 

He trains and perfects his Nen, occasionally taking jobs from a mercenary agency that allows him to fight some pretty strong guys. It's a nice life. 

Eventually, it becomes less nice. Turns out the cons of being strong is that it's no fun to fight most people. Hisoka wins too easily these days, and where's the fun in that? He craves a challenge like nothing else. Hisoka is 17 when he finally faces his first really tough opponent. 

It's also the first time he meets Illumi Zoldyck, and that's an encounter that he'll never forget. As you might imagine, the two are related.

The job he's on is ridiculously easy. Kill the target, take the crate full of drugs he was transporting. The guy doesn't put up a fight at all, practically collapsing in fear and then in the throes of death. He's pulling open the back trunk when he feel just the slightest disturbance in the air. Dodging almost too late, he barely misses being impaled by a couple of needles that come flying out of the woods. Even a tenth of a second, no, a hundredth of a second slower and he would have been dead.

The needles belong to a tall, stick thin, wisp of a guy with dark hair and dead eyes. But Hisoka's not fooled by appearances, this one is unbelievably strong.

Maybe even strong enough to beat Hisoka. That though brings a smile to his lips.

"Give me the box." Needle guy commands.

Hisoka can't stop himself. "Or what? You gonna fight me for it?" 

Needle guy looks unimpressed. "No. I'll just take it from you." 

What proceeds is a fun game of keep away. Needle guy is good, probably better than Hisoka at his best, but he seems at least a little frustrated that Hisoka is doing so well at keeping him away and it's putting him off his game. If Hisoka was crazier, he might even say the would be assassin was flustered.

That doesn't last for long however, and soon Hisoka is lying paralyzed on the ground, bleeding from several puncture wounds while needle guy takes the package from his twitching arms. 

"Aren't you going to kill me?" Hisoka asks as needle guy walks away.

"No. I dislike collateral damage on jobs like this. One body is already enough to clean up." He starts to retreat back into the woods.

"Wait," Hisoka calls out, trying and failing to sit up as the needles do their job to keep him paralyzed. "What's your name?" 

Needle guy doesn't even turn around. "Illumi Zoldyck," he says simply, disappearing into the shadows quickly and quietly.

Hisoka can't stop the shiver that runs through his body


	2. two for joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka fights his way to another chance encounter with a certain assassin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get brownie points if you can catch the part I stole from The Adventure Zone!

He has to ask about the Zoldyck thing later. He gets a small thrill knowing that he fought a world famous assassin even if he did lose. Illumi Zoldyck is a worthy opponent, one that Hisoka will have to fight again. 

His chance encounter with Illumi gives him the motivation he needs to finish polishing up bungee gum and texture surprise. He's strong now, stronger than he ever has been, and it's time to set his sights on a bigger target. 

Hisoka is 19 when he leaves the circus for his first visit to Heavens Arena. It also happens to be the first year he has a natural, not medically induced heat. 

It's such an unfamiliar feeling that for a while he doesn't even notice it. The nesting phase is almost imperceptible. So what if he's eating a lot more? So what if he's mysteriously acquired twice as many pillows and blankets as he needs? There's nothing too out of the ordinary about that. What is out of the ordinary is waking up covered in sweat and gasping for breath the day he's got a fight scheduled. 

He peels himself out of bed, desperately trying to block out the cloying scent of his own heat. There's no way he's letting some stupid fucking hormonal response keep him from fighting today.

A shower helps a little. It's still the first day of his heat so he's not mindless with desire quite yet, but he'll have to make today's fight quick and maybe pick a willing beta out of the crowd of his adoring fans to carry him through the rest of the week. He takes the edge off best he can in the shower, dresses, and ignores his body as best he can.

The guy he's fighting is some veteran of the tower who only needs one more win to challenge a floor master. He'd challenged Hisoka thinking it'd be easy. Given that it's only Hisoka's second fight on this floor, there's not too much to debunk that. 

The guys an alpha which makes a little tingle start somewhere deep in his belly. He's strong, Hisoka's seen one of this fights before, and dual edged anticipation churns in his gut. 

His opponent gets in quite a few good hits and at one point, has Hisoka pinned to the ground. 

"Submit." They growl, pressing the blade of a knife to his neck.

It's not unheard of for omegas to put aside sex during their heats for other things. If the omega has a baby they set aside sex for protection or nesting. Their intensity for lust simmers down to an unnoticeable level until their charge is grown or safe. If an omega is threatened, sex gets put aside for plain fury. Hisoka has never experienced either himself, nor until today at least.

The alpha commands him to submit, and a quiet voice in the back of his head whispers, destroy him.

So Hisoka does.

To say he destroys the guy is an understatement. Maybe eviscerate is a better word for what he does. The world disappears in a haze of red and when Hisoka comes back to himself he's standing in a pool of blood and gore while shrieks echo around him. Later he hears that they still refer to it as the most violent death Heavens Arena has ever seen.

Hisoka refers to it as the most satisfying heat he's ever had. Sex? Apparently has nothing on a nice fight.

After that bloodlust and lust are pretty interchangeable for him. They were to start but after his first unconventional heat, a nice fuck and a nice fight are the same in his mind. He decides not to be too introspective about what that means for him.

After Heavens Arena, Hisoka decides it's time to find a tougher opponent. There's a woman on the Azian continent that he's heard is supposed to be a Nen master. 

Her name is Maren and she works for the Azian mafia. Her Nen is some of the most advanced Hisoka has ever seen. She can make a crystal kingdom space that exists outside of the real world to trap and fight her opponents, and that's only one of her abilities. Crystal golems attack on her command and she can create a song like resonance to distract and confuse her enemies. It's beautiful, and masterfully done, she remains one of the most talented specialists he's ever fought.

She still goes down in the end, but not after a long, difficult fight. Hisoka stands, bleeding profusely from several puncture wounds, over her decapitated body and sighs, a little bit in pleasure, a little bit in disappointment.

There's an echoing sigh from behind him. There's zero pleasure in this one.

"What did you think?" Hisoka asks.

"I didn't see most of it but I can already tell you were far too messy for my tastes," Says Illumi, slinking effortlessly out of the shadows. 

"Was she your target?"

"She was. You have a bad habit of taking what's mine," there's a tremor in the air and Illumi's aura wavers around them threateningly. Hisoka almost drools. "I don't know how much longer I'll tolerate that."

Hisoka smirks, "Well let me know when you lose your patience, I'll be waiting," His eyes narrow. "Or we could just do it now." With the wounds he has he doesn't stand a chance against Illumi, and his aura has mostly been burnt up, but never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Illumi, probably an opportunist, would know that this is the best time to take out Hisoka. However, the bloodlust fades away and the needles disappear back into the recesses of his clothes. "Maybe if I'm lucky you'll get killed fighting someone you can't beat."

"Oh? Have any suggestions?"

Illumi doesn't even blink, but Hisoka feels an almost excited tinge to his aura. "There's a certain spider hiding out in Meteor City. They'll give you some trouble if you go looking for it."

Hisoka feels the same shiver go up his spine. It's becoming a tad too familiar at this point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this new chapter! Should be back with more tomorrow!


	3. three for a girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka tangles with a certain spider.

The spider is trouble, but it's the kind of trouble Hisoka craves with all of his being. He can no longer be satisfied by battles among the weak, this danger is what gives him a thrill. 

Spider number four is the biggest challenge he's faced in a long time, but it's also the best he's felt maybe ever. The bliss he gets from a battle like this is orgasmic. There's no room for any sort of blinding lust in this fight, it would be too distracting, but none the less Hisoka finds himself stirring somewhere deep down as he faces off against this fierce opponent. 

The member dies, leaving behind an open space and a really ridiculous amount of blood. Oh well, there's always some sort of downside to these games. Who knew the human body had that much fluid? At least now he can creep his way closer into the spiders web under the cloak of an ally.

It's not any one of the spiders Hisoka truly aches for, it's the head alpha. Chrollo Lucifer is the kind of alpha who could put Hisoka on his knees if he tried. And if he were inclined, well Hisoka might just let him. That's what's so thrilling about this little game they play. He could beat Chrollo, but Chrollo could beat him too, and of the two of them, Hisoka is the one with more to lose. As subtle as he is, Chrollo is onto the game. There's no way he doesn't know that Hisoka wants to kill him, but he'll bide his time. Chrollo is the sort of man that likes to plan, and Hisoka can't wait to bring all those delicate little ideas down around him.

There's the matter of actually getting to fight the boss too. Turns out that the other troupe members are as protective of their alpha as he is of them. It's no surprise really. Their pack structure is strong and impenetrable. The alpha is always accompanied by at least two betas or other alphas, if he's with their pack omega then that number goes up. They have a system, a system that couldn't handle too much change. 

The Phantom Troupe don't know that Hisoka is an omega, which is one more trick up his sleeve, they think he's a beta like most of them. Phinks, Nobunaga, and Uvogjn are all alphas, which makes for a very interesting mix and some predictably nasty infighting. It's the first time Hisoka's seen a pack that has so many alphas that follow a head. After all, it's odd for alphas to be willing to share or submit. Shalnark is the only omega, and from what Hisoka can tell, he doesn't belong to anyone in particular and picks different alphas every time he has a heat. That's strange too. Omegas usually pick one mate and stay with them, demanding loyalty on both parties. This pack is unusual, probably one of a kind in terms of structure and strength. It shouldn't work, it should crumble under the weight of too much control, but it doesn't. The spider keeps moving even when it should be dead.

Machi is the only one who knows Hisoka's gender, and he's certain she hasn't told anyone. They have knives at each others throats you see, because if Machi revealed his secret, he would reveal the truth of her gender as well. The addition of a fourth alpha, this one female, to the group would be catastrophic. The alphas fight enough anyways, he can't imagine what would happen if they added another to the mix. It would completely throw off the chain of command, what little there still is. 

It's nice having Machi there though, because they know each others secrets, neither has qualms about asking the other to aid in a heat or rut. She's a phenomenal fighter who handles Hisoka's rather wild heats with little problem. Having an available partner is convenient. Besides, he can't say he doesn't get off quite a bit from being tied down by those Nen stitches. How absolutely delicious.

Having other dumbass alphas around is decidedly not delicious.

"Fucking hell Hisoka, you have got to stop wearing that bubblegum perfume." Uvogin grumbles, holding his nose and grimacing rather dramatically. Hisoka and Machi stiffen almost imperceptibly, both knowing that Hisoka is just days away from a heat.

"Hmmmmm? Don't you think it's nice?" Why weren't his scent blockers working? Being only a few days out from his heat meant his scent was stronger, but it shouldn't have been strong enough to gain this sort of reaction. 

"It's nasty. Waaay to sickeningly sweet." He complained.

Phinks took a deep sniff. "I don't smell anything different than usual." 

"Huuuhhh? What are you talking about? He smells totally different!" Uvo shouted, pointing one thick finger in Hisoka's direction.

Hisoka flicked a card back and forth between his fingers. What to do, what to do. Should he make a move now? No, it was far to early for that and the boss wasn't even in town with them on this job. If he let them know he was an omega they would know he was hiding more than a few things and likely become suspicious. Worse, they would ask that he submit to Chrollo. 

He was saved from the decision by Shalnark. 

"Oh sorry, that's probably me. I'm set to start my heat in a few days and I had Hisoka help me with my nest this morning." He declared, throwing Hisoka completely off his train of thought.

That was enough to seriously derail the alphas. 

"Huuuuh?" Uvogin roared. "You're not going to share a heat with Hisoka are you? It should be me, not that little whelp."

The card in Hisoka's fingers bent a little from the force of his clenched hands.

Shalnark rolled his eyes and winked at Hisoka, moving forward to placate the rowdy alphas.

Later, when the team containing the alphas went out to scout, Shalnark approached him.

"Uvo's got a really good sense of smell. Scent blockers won't work with him."

Hisoka twisted a card thoughtfully in his hands. "Is that so?"

"Yep. You'll want to stay clear of him until a few days after your heat. I'll have the boss assign you to my group instead so you two won't run into eachother. Will you be able to work through your heat?" He asks without preamble. 

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it. If I'm fighting I'll be fine."

Shalnark nods. "That's good. I'll make sure none of the alphas approach you in that state."

"Worried about me? I can handle a few alphas." Hisoka asks teasingly.

Shalnark laughed. "I'm more worried about what would happen to them."

It's good to know that there were omegas out there that weren't complete pushovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done writing this fic and just need to finish editing! Then I'll hopefully post either in bigger chunks or twice a day!


	4. four for a boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka smells a guy and beats up a 12 year old. It's lots of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally making the breach into canon! Not everything canon event is the same, but it's mostly right.

Somewhere along the line, Illumi gets his number.

They've met quite a few times since Hisoka interrupted that first job. Mostly, Hisoka kills Illumi's targets before Illumi can and then Illumi pretends to be angry for a while. Then, they grab a drink and bitch about their lives to each other. Mostly, Illumi complains about his family and Hisoka complains about not being able to fight anyone worth fighting.

One thing that's been eating at him is this: is Illumi an alpha?

Alphas have distinct scents but Illumi smells almost like nothing. Even betas have a scent stronger than Illumi's. It's a useful tool for an assassin. Is it scent blockers or has his scent somehow been actually removed from him? Is that even possible? He knows the Zoldyck children undergo rigorous training from birth, but to completely erase ones gender for a job seems strange. Besides, the Zoldycks seem like the kind of family who might worry about succession. 

Hisoka makes it his mission to find out what Illumi is hiding without giving up his own secret. 

The opportunity to ask comes when Illumi recruits him to do a job together. This isn't the first time they've taken a job together, and it certainly won't be the last. Illumi is good at giving orders that Hisoka wants to follow, and Hisoka is good at breaking rules that Illumi won't. They make a surprisingly good team considering how their personalities clash.

This job in particular is perfect because Illumi is going to be masquerading as an omega to get to a target. Questions like the ones Hisoka wants to ask shouldn't rouse his suspicions too much. Watching him get all dolled up, aka putting in some needles, sparks a sense of wrongness in Hisoka. Illumi shouldn't look so submissive, it wasn't right. His long hair pulled back, neck clearly exposed, he looks like a ripe piece of fruit for the taking.

But he wasn't for the taking, that was Hisoka's fruit, and he wouldn't tolerate anyone getting their grubby hands all over it.

When did he start feeling that way anyways? When did Illumi go from 'guy I'd like to fight' to 'mine'? Possessiveness was a trait of alphas, so why did Hisoka feel like his own greed was going to burn him up from the inside out?

Calming himself, he asked, "Is it strange to masquerade around as an omega?"

Illumi paused in the application of pheromones. "How do you know I'm masquerading?"

Because that's not who you are, he thinks. Because you're nothing like me.

"Because you're using so much fake scent. If you were an omega you wouldn't have to use any at all. If you were a beta you would have to use much less." Please be right about this.

Illumi nodded. "That's true. If you get close to me like I'll be getting to this target you can smell that I'm an alpha. Scent blockers can only do so much."

Caught up in his own joy, Hisoka asked, "Let me have a smell?" 

There was a tense silence. Shit. Why had he asked that. Alphas and betas weren't interested in scenting others of their gender. Hisoka's cover would be blown.

Illumi simply finished buttoning up his vest. "I just put on the pheromones. You won't be able to smell anything but manufactured omega." On the outside he appeared calm, but Hisoka could tell that he had the same flustered air that he had the day they met. 

Hisoka gave a little hum of understanding. Why was he being so strange about this? There was really no reason for him to want to smell Illumi.

The man in question looked over his shoulder and gave Hisoka a look that would have been blank to another person, but looked almost embarrassed to him. "Maybe later. After I've showered."

And Hisoka couldn't say anything to that.

-

Later came much, much later than they thought it would. Illumi's hunch turned out to be correct, the target was working with some skilled Nen users. They didn't put up much of a challenge, but they did give the target a much needed head start. After a several hour long chase they finally found themselves entering their hotel just as dawn rose above the skyscrapers.

Illumi got his shower while Hisoka made himself comfortable in Illumi's bed. He'd completely forgotten about their previous conversation when Illumi came out of the bathroom.

He looked delectable. His hair was still dripping and hung long and loose over his shoulders. All he had was a towel wrapped around the waist. The visual made Hisoka shudder. Illumi approached the bed and leaned in close, pulling a section of hair aside to expose his neck.

Heart in his throat, Hisoka slowly leaned in until his nose was touching Illumi's pulse point and slowly and deliberately inhaled. 

Illumi smelled amazing. It was fainter than most scents, but still undeniably there. He smelled like a garden made for growing poisonous plants, strong, fresh, and deadly. A shudder went through Hisoka's body.

Illumi leaned in close, lips almost touching Hisoka's ear and whispered in the softest voice ever, "Get out of my bed."

Ahhhh well. It was good while it lasted.

-

He gets a call from Illumi some months later. Apparently, his little brother (Killua, the obvious favorite sibling) has run off to become a Hunter and Illumi was going to hunt him down, if you'll pardon the pun, and drag him back home. 

Illumi did not pardon the pun, in fact he hung up on Hisoka immediately after the pun was uttered.

"Are you done?" He asks, irritated, when Hisoka calls him back.

"I couldn't not say it," he defends.

"I disagree, now back to the matter at hand...."

So that's how Hisoka ends up taking the Hunter exam for the second time.

He still gets a little rush remembering the first time. That instructor was strong, but not strong enough. Besides, there was no written rule that said you couldn't kill an instructor. It was unfair. Nobody told him that murder was frowned upon.

Illumi's little brother makes fast friends with a little boy that Hisoka knows he's going to have to keep an eye on. Gon Freeces is a little firecracker, and Hisoka can taste his potential every time he breathes. 

Gon is interesting, in a way nobody since Illumi has been interesting in so many years. Killua is too, but Illumi makes it clear that if Hisoka even thinks about touching him that it'll be on his life. Hisoka's not dumb, if he pisses off Illumi there won't be a fight, there will be a swift execution when he leasts expects it. Therefore, Gon is a much more realistic target. He and his little friends hold the potential to give Hisoka a lot of amusement.

At least the hunter exam is fairly easy. There's a couple of fighters that bear keeping in mind, all in all it's a pretty promising group, but nobody measured up to him or Illumi. After all, they're the only two here who know how to use Nen already. The Kurta boy is most interesting, and there's already a little plan brewing in his mind about how to get his hands on Chrollo by using him and his nasty little grudge.

It's not until Zevil Island that something truly worth remembering happens.

At this point during the test, his scent blockers have worn off. He didn't bring any with him, no suppressants either but it'll be a while till his next heat so it's not a problem. Except as soon as the suppressants wear off, his senses come back online sharper than ever. He's on an island and the people are spread out but it's still a little bit of a sensory overload. There's some ripe alphas around and there's something else too, but Hisoka can't quite put his finger on it. It's faint, but there's an odd scent in the air.

Is it an omega in heat? It's can't be, heat has a very strong scent, that's not what this is. It's not a rut either, that would be even worse. It's familiar though, something he knows as well as the back of his hand. Well, whatever it is can't be too interesting if it's not that strong.

The second his badge is snatched, it all comes together in his head. 

Oh.

Little Gon is an omega, and he's been staking Hisoka all through his pre heat.

You see, young omegas who's bodies can't handle pregnancy yet don't have heats. What they have is a pre heat, a distant cousin of the heat Hisoka experiences now. He remembers it being hot and uncomfortable, lots of muscle cramps and aches but no pleasure to make it worthwhile.

That's what he's been smelling. Gon managed to learn Zetsu (probably accidentally) and cloak his presence, but he couldn't cloak his scent entirely. Sweet, strong little Gon has been powering through his pre heat all to get Hisoka's badge. That's the kind of dedication he admires.

Hisoka glances down at Gons paralyzed body and wonders what he should do.

A very, very small part of him insists that he get this whelp to safety and nurse him back to health where no alphas can reach him. Hisoka doesn't have much mothering instinct, but what's left of it wants him to protect this baby. Instead, he instills his own sort of protection.

Gon must pass the hunter exam to get stronger, and the stronger he gets the stronger he'll be when he fights Hisoka. That's what really matters. The sort of protection that Hisoka's mothering instincts want to give him is useless. Hisoka's protection will be securing his place in the next phase and making sure he makes it there. True protection is teaching someone to take care of themselves, and if he's lucky, that's what this moment will be for Gon.

But of course Gon doesn't make it easy for him, does he? No, that would be way too simple. Well, a punch is as good a wake up call as any.

Hisoka not so secretly can't wait for Gon to return that badge one day.

So Gon proceeds to the next round. So do all the other interesting candidates. Hisoka is going to have the time of his life when they ripen. 

Illumi's reveal is absolutely devastating. Not only because it completely destroys Killua's psyche, but also because it definitely turns Hisoka on to watch his bones pop back into place. 

Whatever Illumi says has the intended imapct, and Killua leaves for home after killing another candidate. Illumi's work is done, and by extension, so is Hisoka's. He feels a little bitter but it's overshadowed with anticipation. It's good that he came to this exam or he wouldn't have had a chance to learn at all about all this unripened fruit that awaits him.

Next time he sees Gon, then he'll be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your wonderful comments, any feedback is appreciated!


	5. five for silver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some actual angst happens in this chapter. Who am I?

He's still not fucking ready.

It's been months since the Hunter exam, what's he been doing, playing house with Killua? It's not that hard to even learn Nen really, and for these boys it'll be easier than for most. Hisoka's been keeping tabs on the other interesting hunters, and they've all learned Nen. Well, save Leorio, but that's to be expected. 

They just need a teacher. Hisoka would offer if he thought there was even a chance they would accept. Besides, they already know a Nen instructor, they just don't know they know one. Besides that, they need a push, and by God Hisoka is going to be that push.

Hisoka plants himself at the start of the floor and doesn't move. They can't enter his En without Nen, they don't yet have the will for it, and he won't let them. If they can't figure it out by midnight then they'll have to start from floor one and work their way back up. Hisoka likes to think he's a patient guy, he can wait if he has to. It's like waiting for a cake to bake, you have to give it time before you can sink your teeth in. Gon is still unripe, not quite ready to be plucked and fed to the yearning beast that is Hisoka's desires.

But he doesn't have to wait. That same little mothering instinct purrs because his baby is doing so well. Gon and Killua both learn the basics of Nen before their time is up, and a little bit of black pride whispers that that's his doing. He's the one making these boys stronger. It's not exactly true, but he's definitely going to take at least half credit for their Nen awakening. 

Fighting Gon brings up a whole other set of emotions. It's one part pride, one part lust, and one part excitement. Getting punched by Gon you ask? Well that's all lust with a little blind joy mixed in for fun. Having that card handed back to him is almost euphoric in nature. Little Gon has come along way since that day they started the exam, but he still has a ways to go.

Gon doesn't leave Heavens Arena the same as when he arrived. He's been exposed to a new world and he's ready and willing now to face it. Hisoka reminds himself that it's not his doing, he didn't really have to do anything. But he gets off a little on the fact that he was the driving force behind this change. Those boys are different now, and Hisoka is allowed to take at least partial credit. With his luck, they'll follow Kurapika to Yorknew and he'll be able to have all sorts of fun with them.

Just imagine it, Gon and Chrollo in the same place. He gets a little hard at the thought. If only he could add Illumi to the mix and somehow fulfill his wildest fantasies. Well, dreams are dreams for a reason. If he had them all in the same place there's no telling what he would do.

-

Yorknew city is the exact kind of place that Hisoka thrives in. It's a city filled to the brim with desperation and longing. As one might imagine, it makes it easy to lure his prey to him.

This particular trip to Yorknew is going to be exciting. Chrollo may think the job will be hard, but it's nothing compared to what Hisoka has planned. He has to make sure all his pawns are ready to take the king. If Kurapika pulls through, and he should, revenge is the best motivator, it'll send the spiders into disarray. That'll leave a chance for Hisoka to engage the boss. This could be it, this could be where Hisoka dies, and the uncertainty of it all is intoxicating.

When Kurapika actually manages to take out a spider, Hisoka is a little shocked. Of all of his little fruit, Kurapika seems to have ripened the fastest. Those chains of his are fierce, and Hisoka wants a turn with them eventually. But the boss is the bigger target. He can come back for his fruit later, what matters right now is waiting for his chance to attack the boss.

There are some unforeseen variables. Gon and Killua do follow Kurapika to the auction, but they're dumb enough to get caught by the troupe within a few days of finding them. They made a valiant effort though, but the difference in experience is too high. 

Killua is smart, he'll pretend not to know Hisoka without having to be told. Gon however, almost blows his whole cover then and there. They manage to pass it off but Hisoka cringes at how close he came to being discovered. If the troupe knows that these boys know him and the chain user it'll be an easy leap when they come to the conclusion that they have a traitor in their midst. And they will come to that conclusion, Hisoka has no doubts. The only reason he hasn't killed Chrollo is because the other troupe members are too smart for their own good. They'll figure him out easily if he makes even the slightest slip up, and that's just not an option.

He'll have to be careful in the proceedings, extremely careful. If they find out he's working with the chain user, retribution would be swift. Spiders don't betray other spiders, that's rule number one, and Hisoka has gone and happily broken it.

His secrets almost come flying out when Chrollo tells the spiders fortunes. It's only thanks to some quick thinking that he's not outed as a complete traitor then and there. The clock is ticking now, he has a limited window of time before the spiders become too suspicious of him.

What's really unexpected is for Kurapika to go straight for the boss as his next move. It makes sense, take out the head and the body stops moving, but was he really capable of killing Chrollo? Kurapika may have had the strength to back it up, but he would soon figure out that revenge was never as sweet as it sounded. Did he have the guts to keep killing his way through the troupe? Hisoka thought not. 

Now he just needs a way to slip out unseen and confront the boss. Luckily, Illumi is also in town on a job and probably willing to do him a favor.

All he ends up feeling that night is not the pleasant rush of adrenaline, but some horrible disappointment. He'd known that Kurapika wouldn't kill Chrollo, but he hadn't foreseen this. In hindsight, sealing his Nen was the obvious next move. 

That's fine, Hisoka reminds himself, he's waited longer for fights before, he can wait a little more. 

\--

The bar where Illumi waits for him is fancy as hell. Illumi always picks the most bougie places, and Hisoka won't complain because it means he can get good quality alcohol for once. Yorknew is full of fancy bars like this, but only one contains Hisoka's intended target.

Hisoka says nothing as he sits, peering out at the brightly lit city. For once, it's his partner that breaks the ice.

"So you didn't get to fight Chrollo?"

"I didn't get to fight Chrollo." Hisoka confirms, downcast but resigned.

"Why not?" Illuminasked, still annoyingly deadpan.

"Because his Nen is sealed and it's no fun to fight an opponent that can't fight back." Hisoka explains. Here is where he and Illumi differ. He fights for the thrill, Illumi fights for duty or money, but he can't figure out which one it is most of the time. 

"I'm sorry. I understand that this is hard for you." Illumi says, stilted and awkward.

Hisoka lurches up in his seat. "Illumi are you drunk? For a moment I though you said something empathetic but I must be mistaken," he teased.

Illumi, predictably, scowls, which was Hisoka's goal all along. "I rescind my emotion."

"Too late. Can't rescind an emotion you already had." Hisoka says, swirling his drink. "Well, even if he can't get his Nen back at least there's still a chance for me to fuck him." Fighting would be preferable, but fucking is fine in the short term.

"Yes. Chrollo is a pleasant bed partner:" Illumi says evenly.

That's enough to send Hisoka out of his seat like a shot. "What the fuck? Are you telling me you've slept with Chrollo?" Halfway through the thought he realized he was yelling and the patrons were giving them quite a few odd looks.

"Shut up dumbass. Yes, we had sex." The assassin confirms.

For a moment, Hisoka is honestly speechless. "But you're both alphas." He points out needlessly.

Illumi gives him a very unimpressed look. "What does that have to do with anything?" 

"You're not sexually compatible."

"I assure you we were very sexually compatible." Was that a smirk on Illumi's lips? A real smile hiding under his stony expression?

"But," Hisoka protests, "don't you want an omega?" 

"Why would I want an omega?"

Those words were enough to make Hisoka's mouth snap shut. He felt...hurt in some way. Illumi didn't know what that would mean to him. Illumi has never been an omega that no one wants. The clown chugs the rest of his drink and stands.

"Hisoka, wait-" Illumi protests.

"It's been fun Lumi, but I'm a very busy man." He said nonchalantly. There was a steady ache in his chest, one that was unwelcome and unfamiliar.

Hisoka leaves the bar feeling much worse than when he entered, and quite a bit more hopeless than he had felt in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think theres probably going to be two more chapters left on this bad boy! Don't worry, id never leave it too angsty for too long.


	6. six for gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end (but in a good way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're on that home stretch baby! Almost done!

Despite the...crushing disappoint that was his chat with Illumi, Hisoka still has shit to do. He's got to find a way to rid Chrollo of the Nen that constricts him. There's no way in hell Kurapika will ever do it, so it means finding a Nen exorcist. 

He's a day or so into his search when he gets a text. Illumi has sent him the name and location of a Nen exorcist. Somewhere inside of him Hisoka knows that this is the closest to an apology he'll ever get, and he's grateful for it. A more prominent part of himself is still fucking pissed that Illumi unknowingly put him down like that. And maybe it wasn't unknowingly. Illumi is a smart boy with lots of resources, and Hisoka is often an oblivious idiot. Maybe it was a deliberate dig. But if it was then why would he even bother with an apology? 

Ugh. It's all too confusing. He needs a good fight and soon or else he'll snap.

-

Greed Island is full of lots of strong fighters, but Hisoka doesn't really have the time for it. He has to find the Nen exorcist soon, so he can get Chrollo to fight him. The game itself doesn't really matter to him, so he avoids the players best he can, living off the woods and spell cards for sustenance. Eventually the other troupe members will come for him, how could they not? Using Chrollo's name was the obvious ploy to get them to come find him. This way, they can work together to find the exorcist and get out of the game.

He ends up finding the troupe first because, even trying for subtlety, they leave a trail of bodies behind them. It seems they've already replaced him, which is very exciting. It means another toy to add to his collection. This one seems familiar though, weirdly enough. But Hisoka's pretty sure he's never met them before. It keeps nagging on his mind why this member seems so familiar but he can't quite figure it out. Oh well, that's a problem for another time.

Greed Island is rather boring save for one instance. Hisoka gets invited to play a little game with Gon and his friends. He'd seen them once, practicing near the starting area. Just Killua and his teacher, but he'd seen enough to know that they've come a long way. The little girl in pink obviously has more to her than her looks, she's probably a formidable opponent and Hisoka would kill to go a few rounds with her sometime. She's got all the characteristics of a strong alpha wrapped up in a cute little package. 

So does Killua for that matter, but Illumi would destroy him if he made a move. There's a sort of tension there between him and Gon now. Hisoka would guess that they've fully come into their selves by now. Gon's probably had his first real heat, and Killua his first rut. It's made things more awkward between them, but at the same time their friendship is stronger than ever. 

There's no better proof of that than when they fight Razor. It's sickening, the level of love and trust they have for each other. How can they be so blindly in love and yet so blind to each other? Hisoka has never experienced that, and he doesn't mind it really, but seeing Gon and Killu together make him feel unsettled. Maybe it's how he left things with Illumi, or seeing another  
Zoldyck so deeply in love.

It makes his feel somewhat jealous. It makes him realize what he wants.

The shock of it sends him reeling. Oh god, he wants Illumi. He wants Illumi to look at him with the same sort of love Killua gives Gon. He yearns to be needed, to be wanted, by Illumi. 

For the first time in his life, he thinks it would be alright to be owned, as long as it was a certain long haired alpha who owned him. 

-

It doesn't matter.

That's the conclusion he comes to. That it just doesn't matter. Illumi is an anti emotional idiot with no interest in omegas, least of all Hisoka. He and Hisoka have a tenuous relationship at best and are enemies at worst.

Illumi has no interest in Hisoka period. He's letting his stupid emotions get in the way of things. Ever since he was young he'd promised himself that he wouldn't get too close to an alpha, would never let his feelings get in the way of survival. It means nothing. He still wants to fight Illumi, but he won't let it cross the line into wanting to fuck again. 

He'll focus on finding Chrollo, who slipped away the moment his Nen was restored. Hisoka's been cheated out of fights too many times lately to let this one slide. So he'll do what he does best as a hunter and he'll hunt. 

And he does. For quite a few months he trails after Chrollo, thwarted at every turn by a clever twist of hand. It's infuriating and awful, but at least it takes his mind off of what it wants to linger on, mainly Illumi. He can pretend that everything is the same when he's chasing Chrollo, pretend that his life hasn't been majorly impacted by a certain assassin. 

It's easier this way for both of them. Illumi will never have to deal with attachment and Hisoka won't have to face rejection. 

It still isn't easy though. He had feelings for Illumi, had had them for a long time and only just realized. Hisoka didn't catch feelings, ever. No alpha he had ever fucked had stuck in his head as long as Illumi, and they hadn't even had sex yet. Having never been 'in love', if that's what this even was, he didn't know how to get out of it. If you were in love that had to mean you could get out of love, right? 

He does a pretty good job of ignoring that part of him until he gets the message that the former chairman has died and all hunters are being asked to vote in the reelection. 

Netero was old, but he wasn't that old, he sure hadn't died of old age. Then something had to have killed him. The chairman didn't peg Hisoka as someone who went down easily. He has to wonder at his opponent and what the collateral damage was like. What had happened to the former chairman? 

All thoughts of the election are put out of his mind when he gets a call from Illumi asking for them to meet up. Hisoka feels like a dumbass saying yes. What is he, a dog that comes running every time Illumi asks? This is the worst, it's filling every needy omega stereotype ever, but he needs to see Illumi soon. The last time they saw each other was the disastrous meeting where Illumi accidentally insulted him. And yet, all that anger that brewed inside him has simmered down to a barely noticeable level. Instead of being angry, he's excited to see him again. To continue with the pathetic dog metaphor, if he had a tail it would be wagging. 

But whatever. Illumi needs him, not as an omega but as a partner for a job, and killing is one think Hisoka is always able to do right.

Turns out that while Hisoka has been running after Chrollo and denying his feelings for Illumi, the world has been going to shit.

Apparently giant ants briefly seized power and a team of highly specialized hunters went in to stop them. Illumi's father and grandfather were also called to the area to assist the chairman. During what sounds like a fantastic final battle, his sweet fruit Gon was severely injured and lied comatose at a hospital in the city. There were thousands dead, including the chairman who went down fighting the ant king. Hisoka finds himself a little bummed that he missed a chance to fight some ferocious opponents. Oh well.

The problem wasn't any of these, it was that Killua and Gon had developed a mating bond during that time. Illumi, obviously, was pissed about that. It seemed Killua planned to take the youngest immensely powerful Zoldyck sibling to heal Gon, but it could mean the deaths of the Zoldycks and countless others.

What a world it is when the man you love only wants you when you can kill his little brother. Fuck it, anything to spend time with Illumi.

He does have a little dilemma though. Killing Alluka means Gon dies and Hisoka doesn't get to have a fight. Hisoka actually doesn't want Gon to die for a multitude of reasons, but he's going to pretend it's for fighting purposes. But if it's true that Allukas wish will kill the Zoldycks, then Hisoka will lose Illumi. What a conundrum.

In the end he decides it's best if he just does what's asked of him and kills Alluka. If all else fails, he'll go after Killua and earn the wrath of Illumi and he can finally have the fight he wants. 

It's actually a pretty fun hunt in the end. The Hunter Association sends some of its best and brightest to stop them to no avail. Some of them are pretty good, and Hisoka would indulge himself if he weren't pressed for time. In the end, the butler he fought ends up being the most exciting thing to happen to him in a long time. In the end though he doesn't have to kill Alluka. Killua, sweet big brother that he is, is an exception to the rules. 

It should be done. He should take the chance while Illumi is at home to disappear into the great unknown, go back to finding Chrollo, let his feelings wither away and die over the span of a few years. He should wrap this little problem up neatly and put a bow on it.

But then Illumi calls him, and he just can't bring himself to leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with this fic for the past week, you're blessings to me! Your comments and kind words light up my day!


	7. seven for a secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DONE!!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!!

After being sent on his way by unknowable power, Illumi made it back to the continent within a day.

He's pretty fucked up about the whole situation, so they find themselves in a position not dissimilar to their last meeting, except this time it's Illumi who's downcast, drinking his sorrows away.

The bar is empty except for the two of them. There's one bar tender with a few needles jutting out of his head that comes by with drinks every few minutes on an interval. Illumi is drinking as fast as the bartender can bring them, but Hisoka's only just started a second glass of wine. They both have indecently high tolerances, it takes a lot to get them drunk. Illumi, for example, has a little phial of arsenic that he adds a few drops of to each drink he has to up the potency. It's the strangest but also most mundane thing he's ever seen. Hisoka's pretty sure he'd die if he kissed Illumi right now, but it'd be worth it.

"So you didn't get to kill Alluka?" Hisoka asks teasingly.

Illumi, obviously aware that Hisoka is quoting his own words from the last time they met, gives him a nasty glare and does a shot of something horrible looking and blue.

"You should be happy," Hisoka tries to reason. "Your little brother is safe and sound and is stronger than ever. If you had killed Alluka he never would have come back home." 

"You don't understand. Now that he has Alluka, he doesn't need me." Illumi whines, snatching another shot from the bartenders tray. Hisoka takes one this time too, having a feeling that drunkenness is going to be necessary for this conversation.

"He's a teenage boy, he thinks he doesn't need anyone. He'll figure it out soon."

"He thinks he needs Gon." Illumi grumbles.

"Well that's different. From what I hear they have a nearly complete mating bond after East Gorteau." 

That's the absolute wrong thing to say. The bartender gives a shout of pain and slumps over dead, blood spilling from his ears and mouth. Illumi's aura flares dangerously and Hisoka feels that all too familiar shiver he gets whenever Illumi looses control a little.

"That's a whole other problem." 

"Why?" Hisoka asks, genuinely curious. "I would think that the Zoldycks are all about strong successors. You won't find a stronger omega for Killua than Gon."

Illumi is quiet for a moment and Hisoka knows he's struck gold. Seems the rest of the Zoldyck family is all in favor of having Gon and Killua mated for the strong children it would bring. 

Hisoka decides to press some more, even though it's probably a bad idea. "Why don't you want him to be mated? It has to happen eventually."

"It's not that-" Illumi cuts himself off and turns his head sharply to glare out the window, blank faced in a way that is unusually telling. Oh.

Oh.

"You're jealous." Hisoka feel a very complex mix of emotions. The one in front is anger. Illumi loves someone like how Killua loves Gon and wants to be with them. Is it Chrollo? Is it someone Hisoka has a feasible chance of killing? Then there's some confusion because this is weirdly out of character for Illumi, even a very intoxicated Illumi. Finally, he feels grateful. Illumi is sitting here with him, not with any other omega, sharing scarce information about his life. Illumi trusts him, and it makes him feel a little choked up.

All the while Hisoka sorts through his head, a blush rises to Illumi'a face. He doesn't really blush too much from his cheeks, it's all in the ears. Hisoka has a surreal moment of realization where he realizes that this is the first time he's ever seen Illumi blush. Seems he was spot on in his guess.

"It's not quite like that," Illumi defends, "I'm just confused about how Killua did it that easily. How did he manage to get his mate before I got mine?"

The choked up feeling is back in Hisoka's throat. "Have you known your mate for long?" He asks, even though it nearly kills him.

"For years now." Illumi looks Hisoka dead in the eye. "He stole my target when we were teenagers and then proceeded to be the most oblivious pain in the ass I've ever met."

Something inside Hisoka is set aflame.

"Me?! Your mate is me? There's no way." 

Illumi rolls his eyes and finishes his shot, moving behind the bar to grab the bottle. "Yes idiot. All these years and you never noticed."

"Never-" Hisoka splutters. "Never noticed? What was I suppose to notice? That you didn't kill me the first time I pissed you off?"

Illumi spins on him, suddenly enraged. "Of course not. I have you good fights, I called you for aid, I opened up to you! We were allies!" 

Hisoka suddenly feels enraged himself. "So what, I was supposed o realize that perfectly normal, maybe a little on the side of friendly, behavior was love for you? You told me to my face that you didn't need an omega. How else was I supposed to take that?"

"I meant that I didn't need an omega for sex! It came out all wrong and I hurt you even though I didn't mean to. I almost gave up after that because human emotions are just so complicated. I didn't mean that I didn't need you." His voice cracks on the word you, and Hisoka sees just the slightest bit of angry tears start to fill his eyes. There is silence in the bar broken only by the soft sounds of the city outside. "It doesn't matter anyways. I know you aren't interested in me in that way."

That completely throws Hisoka for a loop. "What?"

"You don't want me," Illumi gestures to himself with a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka. "You want Chrollo."

If Hisoka was confused before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

The assassin in front of him is starting to look more and more frayed as the minutes wear on. His hair has long since fallen into disarray and his face and neck are flushed red from yelling. "When I told you I'd had sex with Chrollo you were upset. Your aura was practically radiating anger. You were jealous."

Hisoka laughs. He laughs so hard he falls to his knees, gasping for air desperately through his giggles. 

"What?" Illumi demands, leaning over the bar to stare at Hisoka on the ground. 

"Y-you dumbass," Hisoka gasps, "It was you. I was jealous because I wanted you, not Chrollo! How could you ever think that?"

Illumi is still, frozen in shock and surprise, then he moves suddenly and disturbingly fast. Like a wild cat he leaps over the bar and pounces on Hisoka, tackling him to the floor the rest of the way and send them both sprawling. They're far too close to the corpse of the bartender but Hisoka could care less because Illumi's mouth is on his neck, spit and teeth doing their best to cover every inch of exposed skin. Finally, finally he makes his way to Hisoka's mouth and they're kissing with a passion he's never felt before. No alpha, no heat driven lust could ever compare to what he feels now.

Illumi pulls away long enough to growl, "I love you, you despicable man." Hisoka laughs into their kisses and conveys his love back in kisses and licks of his tongue. 

He pulls away a few minutes later when he starts to feel himself getting wet and Illumi's hardness pressing against him at the hip. "My hotel is just across the street. Join me for a nightcap?"

Illumi goes statue like in nature and freezes. "Hisoka if I have you tonight I will mate you completely. Are you sure you won't have any regrets?"

Hisoka snorts and pecks Illumi's cheek. "I should be asking you that. How much alcohol have you had tonight?"

"Not enough to lower my standards or my reaction time. Now take me to bed."

Hisoka laughs and then he does as he was asked.

\--

They lie together in the soft light of Hisoka's hotel room. Dawn is just barely starting to reach her fingers over the horizon. The room is full of soft warm lighting, casting shadows and contours across Illumi's body. He's not asleep, but he's lying quietly with his eyes closed, head resting on Hisoka's chest. 

"Do have any regrets mister 'I drank too much vodka to remember what we talked about last night'?"

Illumi doesn't open his eyes. "No. I was only slightly tipsy. Besides, id still want you even if I were completely shitfaced." 

"Illumi that's maybe the kindest thing you've ever said to me."

That cheekiness earns him a smack to which he replies, "Oh yes, hit me harder daddy."

Illumi rolls onto Hisoka with some difficulty and holds a pillow over his face, maybe in an attempt to strangle him, maybe in an attempt to shut up his ever increasing laughter.

The play fighting soon devolves into kissing and sucking and Hisoka whispers a soft 'I love you' into Illumi's throat and feels the following shudder. It's sickeningly domestic but a part of Hisoka that he's been ignoring for far too long is finally appeased. Everything he wants is right here in front of him. Everything he's pined for for so long is in his arms.

He stops kissing Illumi long enough to ask, "How long have you known I was an omega? I feel like I do alright hiding it."

Illumi hums. "I've known for a year or two. I had my suspicions when you starting asking if I was an alpha but I squeezed the information out of one of your temporary bed partners to be sure."

Hisoka chuckles. "Awwwww darling you tortured somebody for me. How romantic." 

Illumi rolls his eyes and tilts his head back to lounge on Hisoka. The movement brings attention to the large bite mark resting where shoulder and neck meet. It's Hisoka's mating mark. Now everyone will know that the assassin is taken, that Illumi belongs to Hisoka. He has one too, and it sends the same message. No alpha will ever dare ask Hisoka to submit with this on his neck. For once, he doesn't mind belonging to someone.

Hisoka has a secret.

The secret is this: he did curse it, for a long time. 

He hated being an omega more than he hated being alive. He hated how alphas thought they could boss him around. He hated the desperation and vulnerability that came with his heat. He hated that he was always considered weak and underestimated. But he always said he didn't, because it was better to fake confidence than have none at all.

But he doesn't hate it now, not in this moment and not since. Not with Illumi by his side.

He presses a gentle kiss against Illumi's mating bite and feels the resulting shudder it brings. He smirks against his mate's neck.

"So Illumi, how many babies do you want? I'm thinking five or six at the least." 

The still morning is broken by his shrieks of laughter as Illumi once again plays at trying to kill him.

It's soft and quiet and everything he's not, but it's good. It's right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and enjoying this experience along with me! I hope you've enjoyed it and I'm so grateful to all of you for your kind words! This is officially the longest thing I've written so I'm very proud of myself! You can check me out on tumblr at nerdlordsupreme if you'd like!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Hope you like it!


End file.
